I have always been a prequel truther. Okay, that’s not quite true. I started off a hater of Star Wars in general, but even as a snooty, miserable teenager, I always thought that at least the prequels tried. Better to try to be complex and unique and fail than to be a trilogy of okay films that has the weird Leia in a slave bikini scene. Now that I’m older, I like the OT much more, but the prequels will always be my favorite. I can still find other movies like the OT. The prequels may have flaws or whatever, but I don’t care, because where am I ever going to find other movies like the prequels? Whether you love or hate them, they’re ambitious movies and I love what they attempt to do! I love how they take the golden image we’ve built up of the Jedi in the OT and show that they were ultimately a flawed organization that helped some people and failed others. I love how it shows the political landscape alongside the action scenes. I love the tragedy that’s set up, where love is not enough to save the characters and in fact makes everything actively worse.
I also love the whole lady and knight dynamic Anakin and Padme have going on and their theme song is my favorite in all of Star Wars, but that’s beside the point
I was going to review all the prequel movies in one post, but I should have known I could never be that concise. That review got really long, so I’m just going to make separate ones for each movie.
Genuinely? I am shocked at how much more I like this movie this time around. This was my least favorite Star Wars movie, not counting anything from that sequel trilogy we collectively hallucinated. Phantom Menace had boring stuff like Jar Jar and the twenty minute podracing scene, and the moment Qui-Gon Jinn said that he wasn’t here to free the slaves was so distressing to me as a young teenager that I flat-out hated the guy.
Now that I’m an adult, I honestly don’t even mind Jar Jar. He’s for the kiddos, you know? If I didn’t want the silly little kid’s character, I shouldn’t watch Star Wars, the movies where a man gets cut in half and the protagonist kills small children twice. Also, apparently everyone harassed the actor because people were weirdos, and that made me rethink whether or not clowning on this character was actually a cool thing to do. Frankly, I think not hating on Jar Jar makes the story way more interesting to analyze. Instead of treating Jar Jar as inherently worthy of contempt, why not ask what Qui-Gon’s contempt for Jar Jar says about him? One might say he doesn’t suffer fools lightly, although one can also come up with a much less sympathetic reading considering he later calls Maul, another alien, ‘it.’ (No, seriously, what on earth was that moment. Maul is my baby and NO ONE says bad things about him on my watch.) Honestly, having written Vader/Padme AUs, I love Jar Jar now. I will leave you with this ominous statement.
Okay I am scared of people getting mad at me, but I will be so for real; I am torn between finding Qui-Gon funny and finding him annoying. On the one hand, he enters a child slave into a race that has a high chance of killing him, which is so horrible it’s funny. It’s like what one of those characters in Series of Unfortunate Events would do to one of the orphans or something. I also love how Qui-Gon’s sarcasm shows up later in Obi-Wan, even though Obi-Wan is at heart a much kinder person than his master.* It’s such a nice touch how these characters influence each other and don’t develop in a vacuum. On the other hand, the way he talks to Padme gets under my skin so bad, and I still am mad at him for saying he’s not here to free the slaves. Sure, I understand he can’t do it right that second, but he could at least make plans to go back there in the future??
*I know people love Qui-Gon, which is fair, but I think we can probably agree that even though he has a lot of good qualities, he isn’t kind.
My opinions on Qui-Gon and the Jedi change every time I think about them, tbh. Do I find it hilarious that Qui-Gon spends his entire time on screen condescending to a fourteen-year-old girl who could run rings around him and also endangering a nine-year-old child slave? Yeah, absolutely. I also find him morally bankrupt and am kind of surprised that more people don’t see him that way, but I guess we did all watch this movie as kids. The other Jedi talk about Qui-Gon like he’s cool and Not Like the Other Jedi, which definitely influences your perception.** I am still a little incensed that no one except Anakin even considers trying to free Shmi, though. Sure, Padme’s fourteen, but Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are both adults and should have made plans to go back and rescue this woman, it’s the least they owe her. Qui-Gon makes a brief attempt and never makes any indication he wants to do anything else and then they all leave Shmi to rot.
**Frankly if QUI-GON is too rebellious for them I feel like this says bad things about the Jedi?? When you actually look at what he does, everything is still centered around what’s best for the order, he’s just willing to go against commands in order to achieve that. I guess that is still a no-no in a monastic community, though, so I’m not sure how I feel about this.
I do not understand Yoda. I hated him as a teen and now I’m left with the weird feeling that I probably shouldn’t hate him and he’d be a deep character if I tried, but also I don’t get it. Why is he scolding Anakin for worrying about his mom who’s been left in slavery. Are you for real. It honestly feels like he wanted to trip this kid up for fun?? I’ve seen people say that the attachment thing refers to unhealthy or greedy attachment, but that’s not what’s in this movie. While I’m not Buddhist, I am Eastern Orthodox and unless I’m really misunderstanding something, we have a similar concept of nonattachment. It’s obviously not the same, so do tell me if I’m misunderstanding something, but I can’t think of a single case I’ve heard of where an Orthodox or Buddhist monk scolds a small child for worrying about their mom who is in danger. I don’t see anything unhealthy in Anakin’s relationship with his mom, other than the obvious issue of insecurity since someone could hurt or even kill his mother at any time. People who try to defend this moment will say that Yoda sensed something unhealthy, but frankly, they’re asking me not to believe my own eyes. Sure, he loses it later, but at age nine? You’re asking me to believe that Anakin at age nine was disturbed for loving and worrying about his mom?
[Edited to add because I just realized I accidentally cut context while editing for why I brought up Christianity: My impression of Buddhism was that it mainly prohibits unhealthy, greedy attachments to people, but I could be wrong. Please let me know in the comments, I love learning about religions. But even in more stricter interpretations of nonattachment doctrines like in Christianity, which literally calls you to leave your mother and father and follow Christ, I still can’t see anything like this happening? (To be clear: I do NOT know much about Buddhism so do not take any info from me, this is just what I’ve heard but I could be completely off base. Please let me know if I am, I love learning about different religions.) I do feel like I may have been a little harsh on this scene because I think someone’s interpretation depends on whether they decide Yoda is gently advising Anakin or whether they decide Yoda is scolding him. The scene kind of felt weird and judgemental to me but your mileage may vary.]
I really do adore the theme of messed up chosen ones, though. Anakin is kind of implied to be space Jesus? He’s born of a virgin birth in a metaphor that goes nowhere. He’s the chosen one prophesied to bring balance to the Force. Unfortunately, neither the Jedi nor the Sith bothered to ask what bringing balance to the Force meant and then he wipes both groups out.*** Luke, the only remaining guy who knows how to use a lightsaber, learned for a month and doesn’t exactly have much of a connection to the Jedi tradition. He’s pretty much a Jedi in name only. Also, MAUL SOMEHOW SURVIVES GETTING CUT IN HALF THROUGH THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE, which implies that the dark side is way more powerful than the light side????**** Star Wars makes no sense. This implies so many weird and frankly horrifying things about the Force and I’m kind of addicted to this concept, though.
***There’s more than one interpretation of this because it’s never stated exactly what the prophecy means, but I’ve always personally interpreted it this way (before you ask, I don’t think the Jedi ‘deserve’ to get wiped out, I just think that the Force is actually kind of horrifying when you read between the lines)
****Obviously from a doylist perspective this is because the authors wanted to bring back a well-loved villain, but no one analyzes Star Wars from a doylist perspective or else you are forced to admit that the story is kind of shit. Sorry.
Also the theme of Anakin and Padme’s lost childhoods is so good. She’s a queen from the age of fourteen and I think she’s been in politics since she was eight? Anakin’s a slave who’s been forced into dangerous races since he was around three. The fate of an entire nation rests on her shoulders and Anakin is the chosen one in some prophecy, which is the only reason he gets rescued. Neither of them have ever had time to be kids in their lives. Anyway, nice to think about how Anakin will grow up and ensure that his own children’s childhoods are ruined 🙂 Warm and fuzzy.
I still think the twenty-minute podracing scene was unnecessary, though. At least the Maul fight scene went a long way towards making up for it. God I love him so much.
Anyway, I don’t care if these are objectively bad films or whatever. I personally think it’s way more interesting to look at what these films did right. (These films being as bad as they are also leaves room for fans to pretty much invent their own stories in order to make it make sense, which is fun. I do find it really funny when fans get into knock-down drag-out arguments when the source material is literally incoherent.) I love the themes of lost childhoods leading to violence that permeate the entire prequel trilogy. And Anakin and Padme are such unique characters, too. I might get into this in my Revenge of the Sith review, assuming I remember to write that one, but it really is interesting to me how most of Anakin’s internal problems come from desperately trying to hold himself to an impossible standard of masculinity. And I hate this, but unfortunately I think it’s really rare to have a relationship where the woman has more power than the man and stays that way. There’s so much fascinating stuff to unpack here if you come to these films willing to do a lot of legwork–and buddy, I am so willing.
Also I really, really hate the hero’s journey.
Obi-Wan/Maul forever, though (yes, I am a danmei fan)