Le Morte D’Arthur, book 1, part 20

We’re on part twenty already? I kind of can’t believe this. Also, I’m finally updating yaaay.

Previously on Le Morte D’Arthur: Some unnamed knight is a time-wasting idiot who has set himself up by a fountain and is challenging everyone to fight him. Griflet has asked to be knighted so he can go fight this person. Also, Ulfius finally got dissed, by Igraine no less. You go, girl.

‘You are very young and tender of age to take so high an order on you,’ said Arthur. [I don’t know why this makes me smile? But it does? Arthur’s a little young to be king, too.]

‘Sir,’ said Griflet,’ I beseech you to make me a knight.’

‘Sire,’ said Merlin, ‘it would be a great pity to lose Griflet, for he will be a passing good man when he is of age, abiding with you all his life. And if he adventure his body [no, I don’t know what that means either] with the yonder knight at the fountain, it would be a danger if he ever comes again, for he is one of the best knights in the world, and the strongest man of arms.’ [I assume ‘he’ refers to the knight] [I swear the words “best knight in the world” have lost all their meaning, though. Asking who is the best knight in the world is like asking who is the most beautiful lady in a fairy tale, or who is the best Sith lord in Star Wars, or—you get the picture. They’re all the best knight. Or the most beautiful lady, or the best Sith lord. Except Lancelot. Lancelot is better and prettier than all of them, and he would probably make a better Sith lord, too, should he put his mind to it.]

‘Very well,’ said Arthur. So at Griflet’s desire, the king made him a knight.

‘Now,’ said Arthur. ‘After I have made you a knight, you must give me a gift.’

‘Whatever you will have,’ said Griflet.

‘You shall promise me by the faith of your body that when you have jousted with the knight at the fountain, whether it fall that you be on foot or on horseback, that right so you shall come again unto me without making any more debate.’ [Aww. I interpret this as Arthur caring about his men and wanting Griflet to stay safe?]

‘I will promise you,’ said Griflet, ‘as you desire.’ Then Griflet took his horse in great haste, and picked up a shield and took a spear in his hand, and so he rode at a great gallop till he came to the fountain. [The original word for ‘gallop’ in this story was, in fact, ‘wallop’. Just thought you’d want to know. :- D The words mean the same thing, of course.] And there he saw a rich pavilion, and there under a cloth stood a fair horse well saddled and bridled. [Well, that’s better than I can do. My saddling skills are crap. (It’s…not a very complex skill.)] Then Griflet smote the shield [of course he smote it] with the butt of his spear, so that the shield fell down to the ground. [For some reason I keep getting the E and I switched in ‘shield’? That’s not even that hard a word to spell.]

With that, the knight came out of the pavilion, and said, ‘fair knight, why did you smite down my shield?’ [Starting to wish I had kept a running tally of how many times the word ‘smote’ is used in this book. It looks like someone has a favorite word, is all I’m saying]

‘For I will joust with you,’ said Griflet.

‘It is better that you do not,’ said the knight, ‘for you are young and have only recently been made a knight, and your might is nothing to mine.’ [For someone who just killed a guy last chapter, that’s a surprisingly nice thing to do. Of course Griflet isn’t going to take him up on it, though, because if he were smart he either wouldn’t be in this book or else he’d be Guinevere. Or Dinadan. Those are the only semi-intelligent characters in these legends. (There may be one or two others that I’m not thinking of right now, so feel free to point them out to me if you know of any.)]

‘As for that,’ said Griflet, ‘I will joust with you.’ [I knew it.]

‘It is distasteful to me,’ said the knight, ‘but since I must, [Who, besides social norms, is making you?] I will arm myself. Of what place do you come from?’

‘Sir, I am of Arthur’s court.’

So the two knights ran together, and Griflet’s spear shattered, and therewithal the knight smote Griflet through the shield and the left side [wait, is smiting someone through the shield even possible? Does this mean something else? Whatever, these are Marvel characters in levels of absurdity] and broke the spear so that a fragment stuck in his body, and both horse and knight fell down. [I believe my mom had a saying when I was growing up that went something like, ‘this is the sort of game you play until somebody gets hurt.’ Well, Mom, I could have set myself up by a fountain with my horse and pointy sharp stick and challenged everyone who passed by to a fight. Just saying. It could have been worse.]

I like saying nice things about the things I love, but you know what I love even better? MAKING FUN OF THE THINGS I LOVE. Also, I’m so worried there are typos in here that I haven’t found, and it’s pretty much my biggest fear every time I post something >__<

Edited to add (because I am an idiot and forgot to say this): Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!

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